Conquering Challenges: How Fresh Perspectives Can Reshape Your World

What advice would you give your younger self if you could turn back time?

After two days at America's largest barber convention, the most frequent question I encountered was, “What advice would you give yourself if you could go back in time?” This question deeply resonated with me, especially now, during my birthday month. As I age, I find myself reflecting more. What aspects of the past have benefited me today? Was it the lack of advantages? Was it because my family strongly opposed it and I felt rebellious? Or did I have something to prove as a female barber in a male-dominated industry?

If someone had given me advice back then, would I have understood it as I do now? A million questions flood my mind when I recall this question being asked repeatedly throughout the weekend because even today, things I heard long ago impact me differently than they did back then.

I believe in life's seasons and that our receptiveness to information depends on where we are in our lives. We absorb what we are READY for. To me, this means we've taken enough steps to realize that we are stuck and are willing to let go of our positions and egos to learn differently if that's what we truly desire moving forward.

We all have a friend, family member, or even a stranger who comes to us for advice on a situation we've been through because they're on a similar path. You pour your heart and soul into your response because you care and can relate. The next time you see them, they haven't taken any steps toward the change they claimed they wanted. Sometimes, I think people cling to misery because it’s easier to settle for the familiar rather than embark on something difficult or effortful because the other side is not yet visible.

In the realm of uncertainty is where growth occurs. We can’t foresee where we haven't been yet. We can imagine, aspire, and declare it with full conviction, but when will we actually arrive there?

You can't gain something you’ve never had by doing the same things you’ve always done, right? That applies not just to barbering or your industry, but to your entire life.

How you do ONE thing is how you do EVERYTHING else. This phrase didn’t matter to me five years ago, but now it means more than ever. The same words, just at a different time in my life. Now, I care more.

Let’s think about this perspective

Where does success come from? Is it from being prepared, having the right mentors, or surrounding yourself with successful people? As the eldest of three siblings who grew up in the same environment but turned out so differently, I often ponder this. We are all consumed with the idea that the right advice at the right time could set us on the perfect path. But is that really true?

Why does it feel like you were dealt the toughest hand? Why is there so much resistance? Is it just us, or does everyone feel this way? After speaking with attendees at shows, both in the USA and internationally, it's evident that we all experience similar highs and lows. It’s natural to be sensitive about our work when we care deeply about what we do.

They say we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. To an extent, I believe that some environments can foster growth and push us to reach our higher potential, while others may hold us back. Growing up, my household held a high regard and respect for others, but it didn’t teach me the business skills I needed today. I could only see as far as my group could see. My family instilled in me that success comes from education and earning degrees. Internally, I fought hard to listen and be respectful, but deep inside, it didn’t resonate with me. I wanted to be more freeform in a creative field.

Meeting my girlfriend Val was a turning point in my life. She brought over 15 years of business experience, starting from a young age, and her expertise reached beyond the classroom. Val was skilled in training young people to become high achievers in competitive dance through discipline and consistency. Her negotiation skills and intuitive understanding of situations changed how I handle challenges and respond to feedback, demonstrating how quickly we can progress when applying new lessons effectively. This experience brought significant changes to both my personal and professional life.

Val has a natural talent for analyzing situations and determining their value. She gives a real life assessment that makes you think about everything you did up to that point. Initially, I was stubborn and wanted to do everything my way. However, when I faced obstacles that left me frustrated and stuck, I decided to ask for her opinion on my work. Though challenging to my ego, I realized that in creative fields, the effort you put in matters less than the outcome. The first time I heard that my work wasn’t hitting the mark, I cried out of frustration.

That moment was crucial for me. When you feel like you are hitting a low, it makes you rethink your steps as a creative. Allowing the perspective of someone I respected and who genuinely cared about me to enter my life started to shift my worldview. Gradually, I learned to accept critiques and grow from them. Four years later, I feel transformed. I’m less fearful, collaborate better with others, handle constructive criticism well, and react less impulsively.

I’m thankful for that difficult time because it taught me so much about resilience and growth. It’s a reminder that sometimes, a single moment of looking at things differently or trying a new approach can have a lasting impact on your future.

The advantages we gain

Over my time at the shows, I've realized that the notion of “perfect advice” is a myth. If I could go back, I would tell myself nothing. The struggles and lessons we face are tailor-made by the universe to prepare us for what’s ahead. This perspective might sound harsh, but it’s actually freeing. Without struggle, you lack perspective. Managing difficult customers and business challenges builds our resilience and mental strength. They prepare us not just to survive but to thrive in our careers.

When we tackle challenges head-on, we gain the confidence to handle similar situations better each time. It gives you a foundation in that area to keep growing. For example, I grew up lacking emotional stability in conversations about my feelings. When things get heated, I used to shrink and run away—not because I didn't care, but because I didn't know how to express what I was feeling. It took years of facing these situations repeatedly and reacting differently each time, rather than falling back on my default reaction. This required a lot of self-reflection and seeing myself in a seriously vulnerable light. The discomfort of staying the same was greater than the effort required to seek change. This is a lifelong process. A better me leads to a better environment for everyone around me.

Here’s how you can turn this mindset into action

Let's keep it simple with these three things:

1. Embrace Challenges: View each setback as a learning opportunity. Whether it’s a negative review, a botched haircut, or an upset customer, each is a lesson.

This is a mindset shift. Next time you're upset, take a moment to think about your reaction. Are we aware of our thoughts? Are we CHOOSING our responses? Will this reaction help or hinder me?

2. Set a Challenge: For the next month, document every challenge you encounter in your barbering career. Note what you learned from each.

Maybe you’re not yet confident in your consultations, or you're still getting to know the hairstyles you want to recommend but don’t yet feel confident about. Perhaps you want to take photos of your clients but aren’t sure how to ask. Whatever it may be, don’t stop at the first sign of failure or pressure. Keep pushing through each time until you get the results you want! Big or small, they all matter to YOU, and that should be important to you. You are capable of achieving everything you want in your life!

3. Review and Reflect: At the end of the month, review your notes. How have these lessons helped you grow? This will not only improve your skills but also deepen your appreciation for the journey.

Life moves quickly, but don't forget to engage with events as they unfold. Each moment is unique and won't repeat itself in exactly the same way. Allow yourself the patience to learn at your own pace and remember that the most important thing is to keep moving forward. Even small progress is better than none, and over time, these efforts accumulate significantly.

By embracing every part of our experiences, respecting the 'game,' and learning from each challenge life throws our way, we set ourselves up for longevity and success in our careers. Every challenge presents a new chapter and an opportunity to win.

Hope you are enjoying your Sunday!! Have an amazing week!

Sof!